On and on and on and on and on. . .

Have you ever wished that you could trade your family in for a new one? Lately I have been having the hardest time being a part of my family. I don't want to go into specifics as some of them may read this and I don't want to hurt any one's feelings. I just need to get a little of this off of my chest.

I love my family, I honestly do. In reality I wouldn't trade them in. It's just that lately I have realized that my mother and my grandmother were the only two that ever truly and unconditionally loved me in my family and cared about my feelings. They allowed me to be myself and they encouraged me to find my strengths and to acknowledge my weaknesses. They were two of the best friends and role models I will ever have. Now that they are gone, I feel very alone in this great big world. I have Buck, and I am truly thankful for that because he is my rock, the one that I can truly lean on no matter how hard things get. However, as great as he is, there are few interests that we share which makes it hard to spend time together.

It's so hard to get my thoughts and feelings across to you all without going in to details. To sum it up, I can see now that Mom was the thin thread that was holding my family together. Without her here, I don't know what's going to happen...